The Big Day

I thought cycle #1 had gone smoothly. Yesterday's transfer went even better. Was it the valium? No--I took it and felt nothing!!! I was actually very surprised since drugs in general affect me very easily, but valium did nothing. We arrived at the clinic and my bladder was FULL. I emptied it right away since we had another hour until our transfer. I drank some water but made sure not to fill my bladder to capacity. Dr. L greeted us right at 1:00pm and said we were transferring 2 great-looking 8-cell embryos. And, we were off to the sterile transfer room. Dr. L did a test with the catheter which was on the screen for one second literally. He assured us the transfer would be easy, and he wasn't kidding. We got to see our lovely embryos on the screen, placed in the catheter and then inserted into my uterus. The whole process felt like 2 minutes! As my DH put it: We had the B Team last cycle; today we had the A Team. Before I knew it, I was back in my recovery room, laying down for an hour. Dr. L said today's embryos were great-looking, better than our first cycle's embryos, which was great news. They are freezing the six remaining embryos! Wahoo, I have frosties! Our clinic changed their policy (since our last cycle)about post-transfer and lets you get up 15 - 20 minutes after your transfer. However, Dr. L wanted me to lay down for an entire hour before getting up to empty my bladder. That hour went pretty fast and then we were ready to leave with two precious embryos inside me. I'm officially pregnant until proven otherwise. :)

Transfer Day is...

TOMORROW! The lab called this morning, saying that all EIGHT of our embryos are dividing well and looking good. (The tone of this statement was positive compared to our day 2 news with cycle #1). These news made me very happy. Dr. L is being conservative, though and wants the 3-day transfer. I know 3-day transfers work, and there are some who believe embryos do better in a natural environment instead of expanding in a petri dish.

Thanks to Valery for this link: http://www.freakonomics.com/2011/05/11/ivfs-magic-number/
I'll take this posting as a good sign. It was posted today, just in time to lift my spirits! Thank you again, Valery.

Wow, tomorrow is the day! Hoping my embryos love my thick lining and feel the need to settle for the next 9 months. :)

Will It Be A 3-Day or 5-Day Transfer?

That is the question. The lab called early this morning to report that 8 eggs had fertilized normally, adding that my DH's specimen was excellent. Eight eggs did not shock me, for I know a 100% fertilization rate rarely happens. I asked whether it would be a 3-day or 5-day transfer, and at this time, they weren't sure. They want to talk to Dr. L about it. That's how it stands for now. I'll be anxiously awaiting my morning phone call from the lab.

Getting nervous about transfer day now...

Rocky Start

DH and I disagree. While I think retrieval day was discouraging, he thinks things went well today. I have to love his optimism and I'm starting to wonder where my optimism has gone. I'm pretty sure cycle #1 has taken that away.

Cycle #2 is proving to be slightly different from our first. My lining has not disappointed on either, so that's about the only similiarity. DH had to give my first (of cycle #2) PIO injection today. I have to admit, I was a bundle of nerves with it, as if it was my first PIO injection ever. One problem with today's injection: the dosage. Can you believe there was even a discrepancy on how much PIO I should be taking? My updated calendar, which I just received a couple days ago, instructed me to take 1 ml/cc of PIO. However, I remember the RE nurse telling me to take 2cc of this progesterone because it was "compounded." She told me this when it was ordered last month. The label on the progesterone said to take 2cc. What did we do this morning? We went with the 2cc. My RE nurse got back to me in the afternoon saying that I should take 1cc and she double-checked with the pharmacy. I understand the 2cc dose I took today won't hurt, but is 1cc sufficient for the days ahead? I know I have to trust what the clinic tells me, but why is there a discrepancy at all?

To add to my anxiety, there were only 14 eggs retrieved from our donor today. It doesn't seem very high to me. Our last cycle had 16 fertilized (from 21 eggs). I know, I have to think quality over quantity, and I do realize that our last cycle was a bust. Mr. Optimistic (aka DH) says: it only takes one. I know he's right. With fewer eggs, I fear that my clinic will rush another 3-day transfer. We were really hoping for a 5-day transfer this time around.

Again, we wait...until tomorrow's fertilization news.

Full Speed Ahead

Our RE nurse called to say that our donor is triggering tomorrow, so Monday is retrieval day! It's funny how far away this day seemed to be a couple months ago, and now it's almost here!

We Are Not The Norm

That's how I feel lately. I'm am not your typical child-bearing age woman. What do I mean by this? Infertility in my circle of friends and acquaintances is virtually non-existent. In the last 3 months, I can count at least a dozen friends who have gave birth to a baby, and I've bought at least 4 baby gifts in the past two weeks. So when my daughter said to me today, "Mommy, why does everyone have babies, but we don't," I was not completely shocked by her comment. I was feeling the same way lately. It feels like everyone we know, those we see on a regular basis, are either pregnant or just had a baby. Thanks to the internet! If it wasn't for the internet, I would not have met other strong women who know infertility firsthand. Those women can understand my pain, my sadness, my loss. While at times I feel isolated with infertility, I also know that I'm not alone. We are not the norm, though. According to the CDC, about 10% of women in the U.S. have difficulty getting pregnant or staying pregnant.

Raging Hormones

I don't feel like myself. I'm blaming it on the estrogen flowing through my body. My mind feels kind of foggy. Granted, I have been stressed lately with the many hats I wear throughout the day. Sometimes, I can't focus because I have so much going on; I don't know where to start. I see the piles of paper on my desk and feel overwhelmed. Today was a realization that my emotions are getting the best of me.

First off, I had to drive to my clinic today EARLY in the morning in the POURING rain...and in a loaner car because my tire had to be replaced on my car (STUPID nail found my tire!) I was TIRED! Amazingly, I made it to my appointment on time. Ultrasound went much better today; of course, I had a different technician, who was my favorite woman of the day. She was gentle and when I said I was uncomfortable, she stopped and actually did an external ultrasound. Then, it was onto my "vampire" lady for my bloodwork, and she made me realize today that EVERYONE has bad days. She definitely didn't bring her "A game" to work today, so that was a definite disappointment. She was upset because someone took a book or something from her shelf in her office, and I didn't realize how upset she was until she took it out on me! So, it felt like it. She left a nice one inch scratch on my arm from the needle. I didn't believe it at first, but now I understand why it burned so much during and after the draw. Geez, and she used to be my favorite "vampire" lady.

On a good note, my RE nurse said my lining was nice at 15mm. This sounded pretty high to me, but she assured me that it was great. (last cycle was 13mm) She called me later, telling me my estrogen level was at 500. 500?!? Yikes, that sounds high. (No wonder I'm a basket case!) Again, she assured me that it was fine. I'm currently taking 10mg of estrace tablets. They orginally told me to take 12mg, but I actually forgot to take the increased dose. At this point, she said 10mg is fine for me. I'm in a holding pattern now until my donor triggers. I think I might welcome the PIO injections, just to balance out all this estrogen. I've cried on almost 4 occasions today, which is definitely not me.

Now, I'm so tired that I just want to go to bed...