Well, that's being a little sarcastic! I woke up this morning with a bad headache over my right eye, and my paranoid self had to google "headaches and pregnancy." Luckily, everything I read said that headaches were very common in pregnancies, especially during the first trimester. This headache was not going away, though. I tried cold compresses to my forehead and the back of my neck, and I even fell back asleep. I ate breakfast and laid back down. As an hour passed, I started to feel more nausea and I tried so hard to fight it. Next thing I know, I lost my cookies (cereal) in the sink; I couldn't make it to the toilet in time. Yep, the fun has begun. I officially feel pregnant now.
I'm really not good with puking...I can remember puking just three times in my life (if that tells you anything). With my daughter, I felt nausea with the pregnancy, but I never actually lost my cookies. So, I have to say I was a little surprised by this morning's experience. DH was wonderful and went out to get some ginger ale and saltines for me. So far, the snack has kept the nausea at bay. However, I'm afraid to leave the house today in fear in that I make an unwanted public scene.
With the high betas and now the pregnancy symptoms, I'm guessing we have two little beans in there. I know every pregnancy is different, and every person is different. But if I had to make a guess--I'd say twins. What's your guess?
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Every Little Pain
I'm getting paranoid now! By mid-morning today, I noticed some pain within my abdomen area. I couldn't really pinpoint the actual source of pain; it seemed to move every so often. Needless to say, I was getting nervous. Is something wrong? No spotting and it really didn't feel like period cramps. These pains remained with me with for almost the entire day, off and on. I think I've concluded that it was gas pains, so I'm hoping that's all it was. My ultrasound seems like months away now; I just want to know that my little bean (or beans) is/are doing great. This is going to be a nerve-wrecking week with every little pain I feel. Hoping the gas has passed and tomorrow I will feel better.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Happy June, Happy Day!
My long awaited second beta was today (7 days after my first beta) and it came back at 13,033! Our clinic is happy with this number, and I'm starting to believe that this pregnancy might be the real deal. I wasn't shocked with the nice beta number today, for I'm pretty sure I'm getting hit with some nice symptoms. I've been bloated since my last beta and the exhaustion has hit me hard. I've taken an afternoon nap for the past 3 days straight. I'm pooped. I do go to the bathroom at least once during the night, and the naseau is creeping up on me every now and then, especially when I'm hungry and tired.
The big question: are there one or two in there? My beta numbers are high, but it's hard to say. I've been trying to log onto to betabase.info the last week or so, but the website has been down lately. It would have been neat to compare my numbers. I guess, I'll have to wait until my first ultrasound, which is scheduled for 6/14. I'm just hoping to see at least one strong little heartbeat. Two strong heartbeats would be welcomed too. :)
The big question: are there one or two in there? My beta numbers are high, but it's hard to say. I've been trying to log onto to betabase.info the last week or so, but the website has been down lately. It would have been neat to compare my numbers. I guess, I'll have to wait until my first ultrasound, which is scheduled for 6/14. I'm just hoping to see at least one strong little heartbeat. Two strong heartbeats would be welcomed too. :)
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Pinch Me, I Must Be Dreaming
We were expecting a phone call around noon about our beta results, and it was after 1:00pm and still nothing. We saw this as a bad sign; they were probably waiting for the doctor to call and give us the bad news (like our last cycle). My husband took a long lunch today, so that he could be home when we got the news. It was decided that he would answer my cell phone when the clinic called. I was in bed when they called, feeling depressed and tired (from my early morning beta). I heard the phone ring and put the blankets over my head to make sure I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't bear to hear the bad news.
Then, my husband walks over to the bed and says, "she wants to talk to you." Really? She's not trying to make this a living hell for me, right? Entirely the opposite, she was calling to say "Congratulations, you're pregnant!" I was in shock!!! (and then, I felt like such a fool for hiding under the blankets!) My beta was 751! My husband and I both are over the moon with excitement.
Along with the excitement, we know there's still a long road ahead of us. We have another beta next week Wednesday and our first u/s is 6/15. I'll feel better when we see the heartbeat. (My husband says he'll feel better when we have our 20wk u/s). I'm trying to take one day at a time and hope for the best. It's great to know we are headed in the right direction to our dream.
Today felt like a dream. The fact that I might actually be pregnant is still sinking in. Somebody needs to pinch me! Though I'm pretty sure I felt my PIO injection today.
***********************
After the beta results, husband says he had a dream last night that we were looking at an ultrasound. Why didn't you tell me this while I was laying buried in my blankets? He says he didn't want to jinx it. :)
Then, my husband walks over to the bed and says, "she wants to talk to you." Really? She's not trying to make this a living hell for me, right? Entirely the opposite, she was calling to say "Congratulations, you're pregnant!" I was in shock!!! (and then, I felt like such a fool for hiding under the blankets!) My beta was 751! My husband and I both are over the moon with excitement.
Along with the excitement, we know there's still a long road ahead of us. We have another beta next week Wednesday and our first u/s is 6/15. I'll feel better when we see the heartbeat. (My husband says he'll feel better when we have our 20wk u/s). I'm trying to take one day at a time and hope for the best. It's great to know we are headed in the right direction to our dream.
Today felt like a dream. The fact that I might actually be pregnant is still sinking in. Somebody needs to pinch me! Though I'm pretty sure I felt my PIO injection today.
***********************
After the beta results, husband says he had a dream last night that we were looking at an ultrasound. Why didn't you tell me this while I was laying buried in my blankets? He says he didn't want to jinx it. :)
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
The Night Before My Beta
Beta day is almost here! I planned on blogging more during the 2ww (to help make time pass more quickly). However, I've been so busy these past two weeks that I really haven't had the time to blog. This is definitely a good thing. I will admit I've had my share of emotional downs during this 2ww, mainly due to the fact that I'm almost positive this cycle was a bust. I feel just like I felt during my first DE/IVF cycle--absolutely no symptoms. :( I'm definitely more emotional this time around, but I think because I went into this 2nd cycle with a different state of mind. This cycle seemed like a long-shot with less hope!
Cycle #1 was so full of hope and everything seemed to go so smoothly. I was expecting a BFP. Cycle #2 is a different story. Knowing that cycle #1 was unsuccessful made me realize that it's not easy to get pregnant with medical assistance and even a young egg! There are so many variables in this process. Today is 12dp3dt, and I wish there was a sign, a good sign, that is. A HPT would give me the answer today, but if this cycle truly is a bust, seeing a negative today won't make things any easier. Waiting another day gives me an extra day to believe there is slim possibility of a BFP. Afterall, anything is possible.
Sadly, I'm already thinking "what next?" What do I do now that I've gotten another BFN? A part of me wants to give up. Suck it up and deal with the fact that our daughter will be an only child. The other part of me says I have 6 frozen embryos, so let's find a better clinic and use them.
Self #1: But we don't have the money to just be wasting on another failed cycle.
Self #2: Since when do I stop short of my dreams? Let's find a way to have funds.
Self #1: But the PIO injections, the heartaches...do I really want to go through the pain, physically and emotionally?
Self #2: Okay, let's look at adoption.
Self #1: That's even more expensive and can be a very long process.
Self #2: I'm not giving up. I've been pregnant once...why can't it happen again?
Self #1: I'm tired of trying so hard to make it work. When is enough, enough?
Self #2: When I have a baby in my arms.
...not sure who is going to win this battle, but I'm torn. What do we do next?
Cycle #1 was so full of hope and everything seemed to go so smoothly. I was expecting a BFP. Cycle #2 is a different story. Knowing that cycle #1 was unsuccessful made me realize that it's not easy to get pregnant with medical assistance and even a young egg! There are so many variables in this process. Today is 12dp3dt, and I wish there was a sign, a good sign, that is. A HPT would give me the answer today, but if this cycle truly is a bust, seeing a negative today won't make things any easier. Waiting another day gives me an extra day to believe there is slim possibility of a BFP. Afterall, anything is possible.
Sadly, I'm already thinking "what next?" What do I do now that I've gotten another BFN? A part of me wants to give up. Suck it up and deal with the fact that our daughter will be an only child. The other part of me says I have 6 frozen embryos, so let's find a better clinic and use them.
Self #1: But we don't have the money to just be wasting on another failed cycle.
Self #2: Since when do I stop short of my dreams? Let's find a way to have funds.
Self #1: But the PIO injections, the heartaches...do I really want to go through the pain, physically and emotionally?
Self #2: Okay, let's look at adoption.
Self #1: That's even more expensive and can be a very long process.
Self #2: I'm not giving up. I've been pregnant once...why can't it happen again?
Self #1: I'm tired of trying so hard to make it work. When is enough, enough?
Self #2: When I have a baby in my arms.
...not sure who is going to win this battle, but I'm torn. What do we do next?
Friday, May 20, 2011
My First Blog Award
Wow, I wish I was better at this blogging stuff. When I first received word that Michelle at http://howtodanceintherain.blogspot.com/ gave me my first blog award, I had no idea what to do with it. I'm definitely not very savvy when it comes to blogging. I know computers well and get along with their many functions, but when it comes to blogging; I admit, my DH has had to help me with coding lingo. Anyway, I'm going to do my best with this post. Thanks so much for the award, Michelle. You are too kind!
10 Things About Me:
1. I take A LOT of photos...I think some people find me annoying because I'm taking pictures all the time. I figure, I won't always have a great memory but at least I'll have the photos to remind me of past times.
2. I broke my leg in two places while ice skating--had 5 screws and a plate in my leg. The metal has since been taken out.
3. I have completed two triathlons. (This was a goal of mine after I broke my leg. One triathlon was the goal, but I had so much fun training for one I did another one the following year).
4. I'm very emotional. I cry easily at sappy movies. Tears well up in my eyes when I hear about bad things happening to good people.
5. I don't like camping...the bugs, the dirt, the smelly outhouses...how can one enjoy camping?!
6. I think about and miss my dad everyday and wish that my husband and daughter had the chance to know him.
7. My favorite food is pizza, especially when we make it from scratch with all my favorite toppings.
8. I love Disney World and wish I could vacation there every year.
9. My husband never ceases to amaze me. He's everything I always wanted in a husband and more. He's my rock and best friend.
10. I don't think I could love more than the love I have my daughter. Her laugh, her smile and her hugs--they can make every day a good day.
Thanks again, Michelle. I'd tag other bloggers, but I'm not sure if someone has already received the award. I feel so clueless! (Can I blame it on the hormones?!)
10 Things About Me:
1. I take A LOT of photos...I think some people find me annoying because I'm taking pictures all the time. I figure, I won't always have a great memory but at least I'll have the photos to remind me of past times.
2. I broke my leg in two places while ice skating--had 5 screws and a plate in my leg. The metal has since been taken out.
3. I have completed two triathlons. (This was a goal of mine after I broke my leg. One triathlon was the goal, but I had so much fun training for one I did another one the following year).
4. I'm very emotional. I cry easily at sappy movies. Tears well up in my eyes when I hear about bad things happening to good people.
5. I don't like camping...the bugs, the dirt, the smelly outhouses...how can one enjoy camping?!
6. I think about and miss my dad everyday and wish that my husband and daughter had the chance to know him.
7. My favorite food is pizza, especially when we make it from scratch with all my favorite toppings.
8. I love Disney World and wish I could vacation there every year.
9. My husband never ceases to amaze me. He's everything I always wanted in a husband and more. He's my rock and best friend.
10. I don't think I could love more than the love I have my daughter. Her laugh, her smile and her hugs--they can make every day a good day.
Thanks again, Michelle. I'd tag other bloggers, but I'm not sure if someone has already received the award. I feel so clueless! (Can I blame it on the hormones?!)
Monday, May 16, 2011
The Unknown
It's now 4dp3dt, so my embryos should have been implanting by now or at least started. I really don't feel anything. Yesterday, while I was eating breakfast in bed (DH has pampered me the last couple days!), I felt VERY light cramping. I'm guessing it was from my uterus and not my lower intestines--it was so light I almost wonder if I imagined it. It didn't last very long. For some reason, I felt gassy all day yesterday too. That's about it, though. My boobs aren't sore, which makes me wonder about my progesterone dosage. I just wish there was the all-tell sign that implantation is actually taking place. I'm so nervous this cycle won't work. I keep thinking how beautiful our embryos looked and if it doesn't work this time, it's not embryo quality, it's my lining. I'm over-thinking everything right now. My thick lining: was it too thick? My estrogen dosage: is it too much? My progesterone dosage: is it too little? Ahhh, this 2-week wait is tougher than the last cycle.
Here's my beautiful day 3 8-cell embryos:
Here's my beautiful day 3 8-cell embryos:
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