Time - All I Need is Time

As usual, I don't know how my days slip away so quickly.  I need to find time to blog, so I don't forget all these precious memories that are being created.  Seriously, I admire those who blog at least weekly, and I want to know how you do it! :)

The girls just turned 18 months on July 2nd and I need to write an update, but it won't happen today.  I've been busy cleaning house as they nap, and I'm starting to hear one of them stir.  Maybe tomorrow...maybe next week...when my oldest is at camp.

Time, please slow down.

Just a quick photo...can you see the love?  They melt my heart.

15 Month Update...A Little Late

Earlier this month, we had the girls 15 month check up.  Of course, with everything else in life, I've been playing catch up.  So, this is going to be a long post (just warning anyone who is reading!)  I'm writing this post for me since I can't seem to organize my thoughts/feelings and the girls' milestones anywhere else.

Weight/Height: Sera is 31 inches, 23 lbs 10 oz and Matilda is 32.5 inches, 23 lbs 12 oz.  They are so close in weight, but they definitely have a different build.  Sera is more petite and has more baby fat to her frame.  I love Sera's chunky thighs!  Matilda is tall (off the charts) and thin.

Eating:  One of many milestones achieved this month--NO MORE BOTTLES for the girls! The bedtime bottle was the biggest challenge, but we did it!  I say, WE, because it was difficult on me too.  I'm going to miss feeding the girls' their bottles, but those bottle feedings are now replaced with snuggles and hugs.  Their eating routine consists of breakfast, a snack, lunch, a snack and dinner.   

Foods They Like:  They love meat (turkey, beef, chicken, ham), fruits (especially strawberries, bananas, oranges, pears, peaches, & grapes), and carbs (wheat bread, blueberry waffles, cheerios are a staple!)  Cheese is a favorite too, which they eat a lot of lately.  Since the bottles are gone, I've been worried about their calcium intake.  They are not as thrilled about milk in their sippy cups, but I can usually get them to drink milk with one or two meals.  They prefer water with their meals.  They like vegetables, but it's not one of their favorite things to eat.  They like the fruit & veggies grain puffs and eggs too.  They like to eat what I'm eating (even when spicy) and I will let them try my foods...they are so curious with foods and so willing to try anything.

Foods They Don't:  They really are great eaters.  They eat better than my 7 year old!  I can't think of anything that they absolutely dislike eating.  (If they don't like something, it's probably something I don't like--I typically don't make foods that I dislike).  Sera does not really like juice, though...at least, not yet.

Favorite Things To Do:   They love to listen and dance to music. (Matilda dances on her toes--maybe a ballerina in the future?)  They like to play in their pottery barn chairs; they can now move them across the room and flip the chairs over. (thank goodness they are made of foam!)  They love to talk to each other in their cribs.  They like to hug and kiss their stuffed animals as well as us.  They are very affectionate towards us; it just melts my heart.  Lately, they seem to like car rides and like when I say, "let's go bye-bye's."

Dislikes:  They dislike being hungry and tired.  Matilda does not like her poopy diapers.  A first happened the other day: I heard her crying in her crib and when I checked on her, she had her sleeper  & DIAPER off (which was full of poop).  So happy she didn't make a mess with her poop!  Unfortunately, they do beat up on each other a bit.  Sera likes to pull Matilda's hair and Matilda likes to hit Sera, so who is ever getting the end of the deal is upset.  I hate seeing them pick on each other, but I hear from other twin moms that they experience similar experiences.  (On the positive end, I do see them hug each other too).

Their Accomplishments:  They are walking professionals! :)  In fact, they are starting to run.  They climb more than I'd like.  Matilda has an easier time climbing because she has the extra inch or two over Sera.  The climbing might be an accomplishment for them, but it sends me in panic mode when I see them standing on the very top of the couch looking out the window.  They have learned to get off the couch without just falling off.   They know how to turn on/off electronics and Matilda has managed to enter my password on my iphone and dial a number. Crazy, huh?!  I keep calling her the genius of the family.  They just started learning to climb the stairs (another scary milestone for this momma).  They are learning to use utensils, but I often find it less messy when they don't use them. The now wave their hands 'Hi' and 'Goodbye.'  They have changed so much in the past 3 months or so; it's so difficult to keep up with all their accomplishments.

Words:  Besides momma, dadda, hi, bye, hey, ouch, boo-boo, eyes, nose, diap (diaper), eat, eggs, cheese, "oh geez" ...and several words I can't quite make out yet.  They have their own vocabulary with each other.  They talk in their cribs in the morning and after their naps during the day. Matilda definitely talks more than Sera.

Teeth:  Sera has 4 bottom teeth and 3 top teeth.  Matilda has 2 bottom teeth and 4 top teeth.  

Sleep:  They are sleeping a little better now that we eliminated bottle feeding during the night.  Every now and then they would wake up, and we would give them a small bottle to get them to sleep. Our pediatrician suggested not doing this when they wake up or we'll be doing it for a long time. Instead, we just rub their backs (and usually pick them up for a minute or two) and put them down to sleep.  His suggestion seemed to work because we eliminated bottles at night and then they started to sleep through night again.  Matilda still wakes in the middle of night at least once, but she goes down after she's reassured that we are there for her.  Sera seems to be the better sleeper in general.  Occasionally, when Matilda actually sleeps through the night, Sera will get up once (go figure, Murphy's Law right?)  They are sleeping better though lately, so I can't complain. They usually wake around 7am, take a nap ~11am (nap about 1.5 hours), and down for the night ~7:30pm.  Sometimes, Sera will squeeze another late afternoon nap (~45min - 1 hr).  There are those days though where they don't take naps at the same time, which makes for a busy, exhausting day for me.

Looking forward to:  Seeing them interact more with each other and using more and more words.  I'm looking forward to BOTH of them sleeping consistently through the night.

DE Mom musings:  I'm just so grateful for our donor.  She helped us create these amazing little girls. 

Note (if you are still reading): This post took me ALL day long to write...between feeding and playing with the girls and painting a room in our home ...I never get a solid block of time to myself (5 minutes here or there). :)

The Twins Look Nothing Like You

Those are the words from my 10 year old nephew! This was several months ago during our move.  These words were never forgotten.  This moment was never forgotten, but truthfully, I really wasn't ready to blog about it.  A part of me was really hurt by these words.  At the time, I was mad at my nephew for saying it.  I knew I needed time to just think it over and in a sense, get over it.  Of course, my mind was pre-occupied with our move and just being a mom to my 3 girls.

Unfortunately, I probably will never forget these words from my nephew.  (You have to love the "brutally" honest remarks of children...I know my oldest daughter has said a few things that make my jaw drop).  My nephew will probably never know how brutal those words were to me, and I'd like to leave it that way.  I'm not angry at him.  Though the remark has got me wondering.  Did my sister-in-law (who shouldn't know we used DE) state something similar around her son or did he come up with the idea on his own?  It's not like they see the twins that often...maybe once every 2 or 3 months.  Do the girls really look that different from me??? We all have blue eyes. Matilda's hair color matches mine.

I guess, I'm wondering, does our family and our friends think the same? Do they think the twins look nothing like me?  Do they talk about "it" amongst themselves?  That would bother me and I really hope they aren't engaging in such petty talk (so that's what I call it).  Who gives a SH*T who they look like?!?   They were built and nurtured inside me and I (we) love them like crazy.

Sometimes, I wish I could have blurted out to my nephew: Yes, I know they don't have my facial features.  Yes, we used an egg donor.  Yes, they are my children.  End of story.

Instead, I just said, "really, you think so?"  Wow, real profound, right?  I was stunned and hurt.  Stunned that someone would actually say that to me (whether it's the truth or not).  Hurt because it is true (they will never look like me) and I'm reminded of our painful path of infertility.  I moved on that day though because we were literally moving into our new home.  I'm glad we were busy.

Looking back, I know it's better I acted like I did.  If confronted with the same words again: "The twins look nothing like you," how will I respond?  Probably the same way, I'm guessing.  I'm not ready to divulge their conception story to everyone I know.  As of now, I'm thinking I'll wait for them to be old enough to understand, and they can make that decision on their own whether they want others to know.

Do the words still hurt? Sure they do, but I'd like to think I won't be caught off guard next time.  If someone asks about their conception, I'm perfectly happy to say: "None of your business."  If someone states something about their looks, so be it.  I'm their mother and it really doesn't matter what they look like.  After all, I really don't think I look like my biological Mother--I have a lot of my Dad's features.

On a positive note, strangers often come up to me and tell me the girls are beautiful.  Can't argue there!

One Year Checkup

The girls had their one year check up yesterday.  They did AMAZING!  I was so proud of them.  This was their first visit with a new doctor since we moved.  No tears, no screaming until the end of the appointment...the dreaded shots!  Three of them!

Weight/Height: My peanut, Sera, weighted 21 lb 2 oz and was 29.5" tall.  Matilda weighed 22 lb and was 31.25" tall (97th percentile for height!)
Eating:  They love their bottles, but their doctor said they should be weaned from their bottles by 15 months.  It will be difficult since I can't get them to drink from a sippy cup yet.  They are down to about 4 bottles a day (4/6oz bottles at a time).  They have been eating solids at least 4 times a day.  They are little snackers.  Matilda loves to feed herself and eat what we eat.  Sera has had difficulty lately with eating finger food...she stuffs her mouth and I think she expects it to dissolve like her rice puffs.  

Foods They Like:  They love ground beef and cheese.  We tried raisins and peaches (not together) for the first time today and they loved them!  They like scrambled eggs, yogurt, waffles and peas.

Foods They Don't:  Matilda is past pureed food--she's done with baby food!  Sera pretty much eats everything and anything.

Favorite Things:   Their big sister--they love playing with her.  Big sister loves playing with them more now since they actually "play" now.  Grandma bought them PB everywhere chairs for their birthday and they love them.  They sit in them, crawl over them and stand on them.  They still love music.

Favorite toy:  They like their LeapFrog activity table (a birthday gift from a relative).

Dislikes:  Bedtime--they never really want to go to bed, especially Matilda.  Sera doesn't like laying on her back (probably because she can't flip over yet!)  They aren't big fans of sharing yet.

Their Accomplishments:  They officially can walk now on their own!!! Sera started taking several steps at their birthday party on January 5th, and she walks like a pro now!  Matilda just started walking about 3 days ago.  She walked across the room today!  They get so happy and clap when they see each other walk.  I love seeing them interact!

New words:  I think Sera said her big sister's name the other day.   Matilda says Ou-ch.  Sera points and says That.  

Teeth:  Sera has 4 teeth (2 bottom, 2 top) now.  Matilda looks like she'll have all 4 top teeth come at the same time...they are just poking through now.

Sleep:  Sera is starting to sleep through the night again!  Usually a good 10 hours but I think Matilda usually wakes her up early.  Matilda still wakes up once during the night--I'm thinking part of it is due to teething.  However, last night they both went to bed at 8pm, woke at 5:15 for a bottle and back to bed and then woke at 8am.  They usually take one morning nap together and the afternoon nap is sometimes staggered between them.  Matilda gives up the afternoon nap occasionally.

Looking forward to:  watching them grow and interact more with each other.  I just love each day with them.  

DE Mom musings:  I'm so grateful for our donor.  Sometimes, I wish I could meet her just once and thank her personally.  She has given me the most wonderful gifts.

Happy 1st Birthday!!!

I remember a year ago so clearly.  Getting up early (after little sleep) for my planned c-section.  The weather was horrible.  We made it on time though.  Our nurse was late.  She was so calm for just driving 2 hours to get there...I liked her already.  Her name was Diane (or maybe Diana...ok, the memory is a little fuzzy).  She did an amazing job with my IV.  Dr.C came in the room to greet us...friendly and happy as usual.  I felt like I was in good hands...and I truly was!

We have the girls' birth on video, so I will always remember the sounds, the reactions, and the pure beauty of our newborns.  I was so in love from the minute they entered this world, and I feel so truly blessed.  I feel like I won the lottery with our girls.  They make me smile on my worst days and make the good days even better.

Happy FIRST Birthday to my precious baby girls!  You are so loved!

A Strange Start to the New Year

It's the eve of our daughters' 1st birthday and guess what arrived this morning!?!  The unthinkable has arrived and when you have POI/POF (especially for as long as I have), you really don't think one will actually arrive naturally EVER again.  Without taking my Prometrium, my period has arrived!!!  My first since 2005!!!  (I've been on HRT for so long, my periods come within days of taking Prometrium...no surprises!)  However, today was a HUGE surprise.  I had some mild cramping last night, but I didn't expect my period.

Questions arise now.  Can I actually ovulate on my own?  What would cause me to ovulate this past month?  Is it possible to ovulate again?  I can't help but feel a little excited.

Definitely an interesting start to 2013!  On another good note, after 2 weeks of flu symptoms in our household, we are all on the mend.  Not too shabby for the start of the year.

Off to party planning for the girls' birthday party this coming Saturday!  Can't believe they will be ONE tomorrow!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

11 Months

This update is more for me, so I can remember this stage in their lives. :)

Weight/Height: At 10 months, Sera was weighing 19 lbs even and Matilda was 20 lbs 5 oz.  Matilda was an inch taller.

Eating:  They eat about 8 oz of solids a day along with 4 bottles (6oz with cereal) each. Also, some finger foods are mixed throughout the day.

Foods They Like:  They LOVE sweet potatoes!!!  Applesauce and bananas are also faves.  We started shredded cheese and ground beef--definitely makes a mess of the kitchen floor!  They love baby flavored puffs too.

Foods They Don't:  Matilda is not a fan of green foods (i.e. sweet peas and green beans).  Sera is not as picky.  

Favorite Things:   They love to play in the carpeted room because they have room to roam and crawl around.  (The rest of house is off limits when it comes to crawling--not baby proof yet. :( )  They like to laugh at their big sister's funny noises and screams.  They enjoy playing in their cribs (when they are well-rested and not hungry) and laughing at each other.  Chewing on toys, making noises with toys, looking out the window, breaking through our barriers (little stinkers!), electronics,  and music.

Favorite toy:  They like to play the music button on their horse.  When the music plays, they dance.  It's so cute to see them excited about music.

Dislikes:  They get upset when they can't touch/play with our cell phones, sister's ipod.  Of course, they get crabby when tired and hungry.

Their Accomplishments:  Sera is starting to balance on her feet with no assistance.  She'll try to take a step and fall.  Matilda mimics me.  I started to teach them sign language and she's doing very well with it.  She's been telling me "no" by shaking her head. I wish she didn't learn that so quickly, but she's super cute shaking her head "no." Both girls are crawling and moving fast.  They walk around their cribs and other furniture.  

First words:  Momma and Dada or Dadee (~7 months), Matilda seems a little more advanced with her words or we just understand her better. She says Hi, Diap (for Diaper), Bye.  Sera has her own language--she's talking but I have no clue what she is saying.

Teeth:  Both of them have two bottom teeth (been there for about a month or two now).  Sera's gums just started bleeding this week and I see a top tooth coming through.  It looks painful and probably relates to her sleeping issues lately.

Sleep:  They were doing great until about two weeks ago.  They WERE sleeping at least 10 hours through the night since they were ~4 months.  As of lately, they are waking up for an extra bottle during the night and getting up too early (5:30am).  The rough part is when they both wake up during the night but at different times.  It's like having a newborn again.  I'm thinking it's their teeth that are bothering them.  Or maybe a growth spurt?  Naps are another story as well.  They slept fine at my mom's house because they slept in different rooms, but since we've moved, they sleep together in a room. One wakes the other up and they don't always want to sleep at the same time for naps.  Sera seems to require more sleep (with naps). They take at least two naps a day.  Sometimes together and sometimes schedules are just off.  

Looking forward to:  More communication and more mobility.  I can't wait for the teething pains to be gone.  Looking forward to everyday with them--teaching, holding and loving them and enjoying their every milestone.

DE Mom musings:  I don't think of our donor much, but I'm very grateful for her.  I see so many traits of my husband in our girls, so every now and then, I think if it's not his, it was hers.  She must have been an extraordinary baby.  :)