Wednesday, March 30, 2011


I am excited about our next cycle...if you couldn't tell from my last post! However, I do have some fears. I thought it might help me to get over these fears by writing them down in my blog. Maybe I can even laugh at them later (which is what I'm hoping).

Fear #1: What IF our donor does not follow through correctly with our cycle's protocol (i.e. misses a dose or an appointment). I've heard this happens way more often than I'd like to hear. This could cancel or postpone a cycle. I pray our donor is responsible and reliable.

Fear #2: This might sound stupid, but I'm totally dreading the catheter after my transfer. I don't know why my clinic uses it, for I haven't heard of other clinics using them after a transfer. I understand a full bladder is VERY uncomfortable, and they don't want you to sit up for at least an hour. But, jeez, I hate catheters! (More than I dislike those darn PIO shots). From our first DE cycle, the catheter was the only thing that made me cringe with discomfort (even if it was only for a second or two).

Fear #3: Ultimately, another BFN. This is our last chance for another baby, for I'm guessing we won't be as fortunate to be given another free cycle or win the lottery.

So, how to overcome these fears!?!?

Fear #1: We have no control over it, so no use worrying about it...right? (Definitely easier said than done!)

Fear #2: I might talk to my Dr.L about this. I keep thinking two/three seconds of discomfort for a baby--Suck it up! :)

Fear #3: I think this is a reasonable fear of any woman trying to get pregnant. This is when I hate POF/POI even MORE. DE/IVF is our only option (besides adoption), and it is so expensive (along with adoption). I know another BFN will be put me in a sad place, but I'm reminded daily that I'm lucky to have my daughter--she is the bright spot in my life. Regardless of our DE cycle outcome, I'm going to try real hard to remind myself daily before and after our transfer, that another BFN is just another "bump in the road" and I know we can overcome the bumps on our life journey.

One wise woman once said:
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by each experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, “I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” You must do the thing you think you cannot do. --Eleanor Roosevelt

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Cycle #2 is Coming Soon!

We received our cycle calendar today! I have to admit, I'm really excited about starting another cycle. Not so nervous this time, but I'm sure that will change the day of the transfer and during the two-week wait. It's just great to be moving forward again.

If all goes as planned, our ER is May 3rd and our transfer will either be the 6th or 8th. I do hope our embryos make it to a day-5 transfer. May 8th is Mother's Day. An embryo transfer on Mother's Day seems fitting, especially with a successful transfer/implantion/ultimately, pregnancy. It would definitely be the best Mother's Day gift ever.

Another DE cycle is actually happening. Wow, I'm so excited!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

It Could Be Extraordinary

That was the anwser from "The Book of Answers" by Carol Bolt. I was cleaning out my bookshelf today and came across a book I've had for at least 10 years. I thought 'what the heck, I'll ask it a question.' So, I placed my hand on the book and asked, "Will I get pregnant with my 2nd donor egg cycle?" I thought about the question and opened the book for an answer. To my surprise, the page read: It Could Be Extraordinary.

Of all answers?! The answer I received was quite fitting, I thought. I hope it's a good sign. :)