Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Myth: Can't You Just Take Fertility Drugs?

BUSTED!!! I realize not everyone who faces infertility has Premature Ovarian Failure/Primary Ovarian Insufficiency (POF/POI), but when I was diagnosed with this condition, several friends said those words to me. "Can't you take fertility drugs to have a child?" I only wish fertility drugs would solve the problem of infertility.

Whether you have POF/POI or not, fertility drugs are not going to magically give you that child you always desired. When it comes to infertility, there is no easy solution (such as popping a pill or taking an injection). Sure, some people do one round of fertility drugs and get pregnant. Unfortunately, there is a percentage of those women who also miscarry. And, some of those women have no problem getting pregnant, but they have one miscarriage after another. So, no, fertility drugs are not the "ultimate solution" in this circumstance either.

Those with POF/POI are typical diagnosed after their FSH levels are sky-high and are already experiencing menopausal symptoms. As much as it made me cry everytime I explained it, I wanted my friends to understand my condition. I'd go on to tell them: "I have POF (or POI as some call it) and I have virtually no eggs left in my ovaries. I can't take drugs to stimulate my shrunken ovaries (that are barely visible via ultrasounds). My FSH levels are as high as someone going through menopause, and as you know, menopausal women don't usually get pregnant on their own." I tried to give the best description of my condition without getting too detailed about FSH levels and how FSH is actually what is trying to stimulate your ovaries. (No offense to them, I think it would have been over their heads.)

I don't blame my friends for asking such a question. I get it, they didn't understand my diagnosis, and they themselves haven't been through infertility. They weren't educated on the topic of infertility, and I'd like to think I educated them a little on the topic. At least enough. So they hopefully don't ask that question to the next woman they encounter with infertility.

This post was written in support of National Infertility Awareness Week: National Infertility Awareness Week

A Basis Understanding of Infertility

Friday, April 22, 2011

I'm Still On This Ride!

One day I'm thinking we need to switch donors and the next day, I get the call to start taking my meds, my cycle has started. Wahoo! (I'm finally going up on this rollercoaster!) Seriously, my emotions are going crazy and I just started taking my estrace tablets today.

I was definitely surprised when I got the call from my RE nurse this afternoon, and I was more surprised when she had good news for me. Fortunately, we are only a week behind from our original calendar. My revised calendar: ER is 5/10 and ET is 5/13 or 5/15.

This past week or so has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions. Excitement, fear, disappointment...and still a glimmer of hope. And, we just began our cycle. I'm really glad the wait is over and we are finally moving on with this cycle. That makes me happy. :)

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Thinking...Long Delay!

No word yet from my clinic, so this is looking worse each day that does by. I've been researching egg donors with IUDs and I'm finding that several agencies/clinics won't even accept an egg donor with an IUD. That has to tell you something. So, my gut is telling me that this whole (period) delay has to do with her IUD. The more I research--good ole google--the more I think we could be waiting a lot longer. From my internet search, some women did not have a period until 3 months after the removal of an IUD. YIKES! What somewhat irritates me more is that I had no clue that our donor had an IUD until we made the commitment to go with this donor. By the time I did find out about the IUD, they've already removed it from our donor for our cycle! I never would have thought to ask what type of contraception she uses. Crazy, just when I think I'm fairly educated with the in's and out's of egg donation, I learn another thing or two. Ugghhh.

I'm starting to wonder if we need go with another donor. It doesn't seem like a good thing when the egg donor does not have a regular menstrual cycle. I'm trying to be patient and keep a positive outlook. (Ha! You probably can't tell from this post.) I know it won't make things better to stress and get frustrated, so I'm trying to stay calm and know that some things happen for a reason.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Still Delayed

Got a call from my clinic today and nothing new: Donor still hasn't started her period. Our calendar is no longer accurate. So, I have no idea when our retrieval will occur. I don't know what to think. We can't do anything, but WAIT (my favorite thing to do--can you sense my sarcasm?) until she starts her period.

Hope we hear some good news tomorrow!

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Slight Delay

Hopefully, that's all it is! My donor was supposed to go in for her baseline u/s and labs yesterday, but that didn't happen. My RE nurse said she hadn't started her period yet. My first reaction: she's pregnant. The nurse said not to worry and that she should be getting her period any day now. I hope she's right.

I'm hoping this delay is only a 3-day delay and I can start my estrogen meds on Monday. And, I REALLY hope this doesn't move our transfer date too much (which is scheduled on 5/6 or 5/8), or it will definitely interfere with our work schedules.

Now, I'm getting nervous!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

You're the Donor, Right?

Seriously, the receptionist at my clinic has the worst memory. She obviously can't remember that I'm the recipient. Today, she says: "You're the donor, right?" Really?!? My clinic needs to put some kind of symbol on the appointment list, D = Donor, R = Recipient. POF does suck. Not just because I can look like an egg donor.

The ultrasound tech was on a mission today. As she's probing my uterus for my baseline u/s, I can tell she's having problems finding my ovaries. I was getting very uncomfortable, so I had to speak up. I go on to tell her that I have Premature Ovarian Failure and that it will probably be difficult to find my ovaries. I also tell her that some techs can't even find my one ovary. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut, for she started to get agressive with that vagina probe. Seriously, this u/s was so uncomfortable. And, why the heck did she NEED to find an ovary that is like a speck of dust??? Ugghhhh!

Everything about POF sucks!

(Sorry to be so negative today...just writing my thoughts)

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Funny...or Not So Funny

I had to laugh (not out loud, though) when I had my nurse teaching appointment today. This is the 2nd, maybe 3rd time the receptionist has asked me, "are you the donor or the recipient?" It makes me feel good to think I look as young as a donor, but it does suck too--it reminds me how unfair it is that I can't produce my own eggs at the tender age of 34. The 30's are the new 20's, right? My body didn't get that right!

Who would have thought a 34 year old whose ovaries have shrunk, who has no eggs to reproduce...this seems so wrong. It's definitely not funny. But this is my life, my journey and it is taking me down a path I never imagined. So any laugh I can get along the way, it helps.