Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Are we done yet?

This is a topic of recent conversations between DH and me.  Are we done trying to expand our family? We have 3 healthy, beautiful girls who we love like crazy.  Our family feels complete, I think.

If we didn't have SIX frozen embryos from our DE cycle, I'd say we were done.  We definitely don't want to go through another fresh DE cycle.  For starters, the cost is more than we can handle.  But we have six embryos left and the cost of a frozen embryo cycle is significantly less expensive.  Do we try for another sibling and even out our "odd-number" family?  If the embryos don't make the thaw, at least we could say we tried and we do get refunded the cycle costs (minus $150).

Infertility sucks even when you have children. Let's say I didn't have Premature Ovarian Insufficiency/Failure.  Would we try for another baby? Both DH and I agree on this--of course, we would try for one more. First, it's fun trying to have another (when you know you can actually conceive another).  Second, there's minimal costs (no medications needed, no cycle fee, etc).  Third, if you're fertile, you don't have to be disappointed with the time, money and heartache that an IVF cycle can put you only have no baby in the end.  :( So, yes, infertility sucks even when you have children.  Going through another cycle is a reminder that my body is broken in the embryo-making department.

So, the question is: do we go through a frozen embryo cycle?  Especially knowing that the success rate isn't as high as a fresh cycle.  The thought of injections and pumping my body of estrogen again is not very appealing.

I don't know the answer right now.  I'm sure DH would say let's be happy with what we have now...which I'm sure many would agree.  But what about our remaining embryos???  Here's a chance at another child that if I was not infertile we would definitely want.

I'm looking for a sign...something that jumps out at me and gives me the direction I need on this decision.  I'm feeling lost.  Please don't get me wrong, I love my family as it is, but if there's a chance for another, do you leap forward and embrace the opportunity? Or do you donate the embryos to science (which is our decision if we don't use them) and hopefully be at peace with the decision you made?


  1. Such a hard decision. It took us over a year of discussing or thinking about it to really make a decision. Even then our decision wasn't really firm until we found a couple we wanted to approach about donating. Now on the path to a possible addition to our family, I think Jeff and I are still nervous about the aspects of it not working, the possibility of twins again and all of it. But I feel better being decided and acting than being in limbo.

    Infertility sucks hard core...totally agree with you there. It is so much easier to not have frozen embryos waiting on your decisions and just try when you want to. Anyway if the expense doesn't put you out too much then maybe it's worth the peace of mind of trying if you both would like another child (that was my thought for our situation). Good luck with deciding and finding a sign or a feeling that makes the decision easier. Take care.

  2. Why not donate the embryos to another infertile couple who could try to expand their family as well? Donating them to "science" means that they will never have the chance at life. Praying for you to have discernment.

  3. Dear Hope,

    there is no right or wrong in your situation - but if I had the possibility to give my darling little daughter a brother or a sister from the same ED I would take the opportunity and give the frozen embryos a try.