Another appointment...

Well, I have to say I was nervous about today. I had another appointment at the fertility clinic. We had to drop off the hubby's sperm and then I had a saline ultrasound. Of course, I googled "saline ultrasound" last night and found out that slight cramping occurs during the procedure, but otherwise, it normally lasts a couple minutes and is painless. Sure enough, I got worked up over nothing because it was painless and quick (maybe 5 minutes). Fortunately, my uterus looked good, so at least I have something in my favor!

We also met with their donor coordinator, and I have to say I was a little disappointed. They gave us two donor possibilities, and they were fine. I guess, we (yes, the hubby felt the same way) were expecting to see a few more than just two. Based on the characteristics we listed, they came up with two donors! TWO!?! Really? It's not like we didn't like the options, we just wanted more choices. The coordinator said she'd look through some more possible donors, but she didn't feel they met our preferences. The more I think about it, though--we are going with an anonymous donor, so why are we being so selective? And, it's ME being selective. (this is a subject for another post) I'll sleep on the thoughts for now.

First step toward ED

Well, we have been thinking about egg donation for awhile now, and I had set up an appointment with the RE specialist weeks ago. I was extremely excited and really looking forward to this appointment. I was a little nerved before getting there--traffic was bad and parking took at least 10 minutes--I was late! Of course, my husband was late too (we had to drive separately since he was coming from his job). Fortunately, the office didn't seem irritated with our tardiness. We went over my history with the a resident doctor (who was really sweet) and then the doctor (who confirmed my first pregnancy 5 years ago) reviewed my history and explained the process of egg donation at their clinic. Of course, all our questions were answered. The doctor then did a transvaginal ultrasound to see the condition of my uterus. They were unable to find my one ovary, and it appeared no visible eggs were left in my visible small ovary. So, it looks like my chance of another spontaneous pregnancy was non-existent. We met with the donor coordinators and discussed next steps. My husband and I both need to complete some blood work and meet with a psychologist (standard procedures at the clinic). I have to have a saline ultrasound and my husband needs a sperm specimen analysis. We also meet again with the donor coordinators to discuss possible egg donors. Overall, the appointment was what I expected, and I felt very comfortable with our doctor and his staff. As I drove home, though, I started to get REALLY nervous about the egg donation process. I don't know if it was the knowledge that I would need progesterone shots during the ED cycle or if the reality of it was setting in (as we became involved in the process). I'm still excited, but now I'm nervous too!

Miracles do happen...

The next two months after my diagnosis were rough, but I was determined. I did LOTS of research about POF and how to lower my FSH levels. I heard some good things about acupuncture, so I thought I'd give it a try (even though I hate needles!) After my first visit with the acupuncturist (who was also an M.D.), I was very optimistic. This doc truly gave me hope, and he seemed confident that I could get pregnant. (Fortunately, my boyfriend was completely supportive!) So, I continued the HRT that was first prescribed to me with my diagnosis and continued at least weekly acupuncture sessions.

One day, my boyfriend and I were running at the track (trying to stay healthy), and after about a mile of running, I started to feel very sick. I was thinking maybe I ran too hard, but it really didn't make sense to me--I ran cross country/track as a teenager and never felt like this after a hard run. Then, I was trying to think when my period was due, and I thought I was a day or two late. I had only been on HRT for two months, so I wasn't really sure how precise my cycle was while taking HRT. My boyfriend talked me into taking a home pregnancy test, so I did. It looked negative to me (what did I know, it was the first hpt I've ever taken!?) Or maybe I was in denial--how could I be pregnant? I was diagnosed with POF and I haven't had a period on my own in almost 9 months. The next day, I took another hpt, and this time I realized I had read it wrong--it was positive! Needless to say, we were both extremely happy!

I went to the specialist a week later, and he confirmed the pregnancy. I was almost 7 weeks pregnant! Everything went great with my pregnancy; in fact, I felt normal being pregnant (as if my hormones were finally in sync). Our beautiful daughter arrived one day before my due date. She truly was a miracle, and I am now a believer that miracles do happen!

Extraordinary News

It was almost five years ago when I got the news. I still remember that day very clearly. I had researched my symptoms prior to seeing the doctor, so I had some idea on my diagnosis. However, hearing the words from a specialist, "your ovaries are the size of a woman in her late 40's" was not what I had expected to hear. Sure, you know the diagnosis is Premature Ovarian Failure, but what does that mean? It's not like my friends or family members have it. Then, as I sat with my boyfriend at the time (now amazing husband) listening to everything the doc told us, my eyes filled with tears. I couldn't believe this was actually happening to me. When the doc said my chances of conceiving my own biological child was only 5-10%, the tears flowed. I always wanted a big family (I'm an only child), and the news were absolutely crushing to me. I never heard of an egg donor until this day.