A Little Discouraging

It's 3 days post transfer:

Since our transfer, I've tried to take it easy as the doctor instructed. I've been watching a lot of movies on the couch, which has been quite relaxing (no horror or suspenseful movies--that would defeat my purpose of staying mellow!) I even watched Princess and the Frog with my daughter yesterday. Feel asleep on the couch during it, which I haven't done in a long time. It's difficult getting a nap in with an energetic 4 year old, but she let me sleep.

Fortunately or unfortunately, I get around the internet quite well. I had been reading a lot about doctors recommending 5-day transfers over 3-day transfers. Some doctors feel that if an embryo can't make it to 5-days than it would never had become a viable pregnancy. These doctors argue that other doctors quickly transfer 3-days because they're afraid all fertilized embryos will arrest by day 5 (with nothing to transfer on day 5). I didn't worry about this information until I received the phone call from the lab today. Would you believe it?! All the remaining embryos didn't make it past day 5 for freezing. The embryologist assured me that it occurs quite often. Those news were a disappointment to me. We had agreed that this was our one and only DE cycle, so I shouldn't be upset, right? Now I worried that the 2 beautiful embryos we transferred might have had the same fate as the remaining embryos. This two week wait has now become an emotional roller coaster. To be optimistic, I keep telling myself, 'maybe these embies have a better chance in me.' 'Our transferred embryos looked really strong on day 3 while the others did not--which is why they didn't survive past day 5.' It makes me wonder though...16 fertilized after 24 hours (thinking a 5-day transfer). The following day, it was confirmed that I'd have a 3-day transfer with at least two great embryos. Is it because the other embryos looked so bad? All these thoughts and questions go through my head. Then, I read stories where the 5-cell or 6-cell embryos work. It's such a crap-shoot! You never know which embryo will work. I'm praying the embryologist and doctor were VERY correct, saying my two transferred embryos were great. I just need one to stick around.

This two week wait is going to be longer than I anticipated.