Those were the words of a woman who also journeyed through the emotional roller coaster of DE/IVF recently. I told her that this BFN cycle could be our last DE cycle. Not that we didn't want to try again, but DE/IVF is not cheap and can be very heart-breaking when the final outcome is not the desired outcome.
We had our follow up appointment this morning with my original RE doc, Dr. L (who has always had the BEST bedside manners of any doctor I've ever known). Those bedside manners are one of the major reasons why I enjoy working with him. However, if you read in my last post, I hadn't seen much of Dr. L, which did upset me. Not that the other doctors were not friendly or anything (they were friendly and answered any questions I had), but they were not my doctor.
DH and I are waiting in the conference room for Dr. L, thinking let's get this over with--we know the cycle did not work and there's nothing we can do about it now. Dr. L walks in and one of the first things Dr. L says is that he was almost sure I would be pregnant right now. On the recipient (my) side, everything went perfect, and on the donor side, everything went great. He went over the lab report of our embryos in detail, which somewhat surprised me. Will the explanation of the report make us feel any better? Then, he got to the discussion of freezing embryos, and he was disappointed. His instructions were not followed through by the lab; in other words, there was a miscommunication. He was not happy, and he made it known, not only to his lab, but to us. He really thought if our transferred embryos did not produce a pregnancy, at least our remaining frozen embryos would. But we had no frozen embryos. Due to this miscommunication, he wants to rectify the problem with us--he wants us to cycle again with ALL IVF expenses covered (including donor meds) by the clinic; we'll be responsible for the donor fee and our meds. I'm not sure what my facial expression was at that point (maybe just a blank stare in disbelief). I'm not even sure I said much either. DH was rubbing my back, and I'm thinking, 'did he say what I thought he said?' EVERYTHING IS COVERED but the donor fee and my $500 worth of meds!!! Holy crap! Really?!? Am I dreaming? Dr. L apologized for the miscommunication, and said we should find a new donor (preferably a proven one), so we can rule out possible poor egg quality. He also wants to use ISCI during the next cycle AND he is going to oversea the ENTIRE cycle himself and make sure things are done correctly. Despite our BFN cycle, I'd have to say these are the best news we could ever receive from a follow up appointment. We never would have expected such news. I feel like we are being taken care of, and by a doctor who really cares about making this work for US. He wants us to have a baby. DH and I are amazed that Dr. L admitted to the miscommunication, for we never would have even known it occurred unless he told us.
Wow, and my last post I was furious with our clinic! I'm wondering how many clinics would actually rectify something that would be seamless to the couple. I'm feeling extremely grateful and lucky. And, I'm in shock. Another cycle is on the horizon, and a lot sooner than we had hoped for! We are planning for a cycle in January or February of next year. There is some truth in "never say never."